Marriages are solemnized between the two person, they addressed each other as their better half and a life long companion in all walks of life. But right from the very marriage day, these young people are made to go through a series of gender inequality customs. On the marriage day, the husband dines before his wife and she is made to dine from the the left-outs of her husband's plate. Talking a spoon of food from the used plate and to continue the dinner from her plate, is although becoming a contemporary trend. However, the questionable thing is the underlying theme of woman's subjugation and male's chauvinism. The wife is not allowed to eat with her husband by sharing the same curry or any other eatables. When in menstrual cycle, she is even not allowed to serve a cup of tea to her husband, let us forget her going in kitchen and preparing it. During this period, she is not allowed to enter kitchen, touch utensils etc. In other times, she is equally prevented from the mentioned activities unless she has taken a bath. All these activities, if conducted, are treated as desecration.One of the most barbaric form of human nature, the 'untouchable' still prevails in our meitei society in a disguised form.
There
has been a mixed of religion and other social institutions. When a
woman is suppressed by the custom, the act is being prejudiced and
the reason put forward is mostly on the man's fate. In other words,
her breaking of the defined tradition will lead to the husband's ill
luck. Most societies do have unexplained customs which they 'valued',
but the surprising factor in our case is that, there is no vice
versa. Objectively
speaking, for good or for bad, if a tradition is maintained, it
should be applied to all, irrespective of sex. The
gender inequality has been perpetuated by manipulating it on
religion. One reform can be thought by bringing a consensus on a
religion-culture dichotomy and inculcate the public on the agreed
consensus. For example, mopping the floor should be custom and
praying is religion. Even the ways of praying can be custom.
Similarly, when the emancipation is achieved from various other
religious-cultural practices, the reform in custom will be relatively
easier as it will be free from 'fundamental' aspects.
God
is one and all the religions are His manifestations. No religion will
teach discrimination but justice. A taboo should be free from
religion. The Truth is obscured, when religion is mixed with taboo.
In meitei mythology, the Goddess “Panthoibi” signifies the high
status of women in the society. The name says:
“Pan”- taibangpan (universe),
“thoi”- athoibi (winner),
“bi/pi”- pokpi (gives
birth). In the test of time, an opposite turn had occurred somewhere
and women were left behind. Historically, the “Nupilan”, the “Ema
Market”, the “Meira paibi” etc do say a lot on woman's
participation on public affairs, but that's only political. The
social and cultural aspects are still in stone age.
The
projection of female as a flower, the association of she with
red/pink color, their coolness character as that of moon; all leads
to a child girl's cognitive construct that she should be shy in
nature, be submissive, etc and on the other-hand; boys are taught to
be outspoken, be smart, be brave, be a risk-taker etc. As these basic
differences has been taught since a child is born, it is not
surprising to see that it is mostly the women who have maintained
domestic gender inequality. Mother's love to father and sons for
their well being, sister's love to brothers and father, wife's love
to husband etc which is above all, the most beautiful human
nature. But
the love is adulterated with superstitions and the whole discussion
of this article is the manifestations of this adulteration. We
should try a totally different means to capture and continue this
root emotion, the love.
Chauvinism
is culturally inhibited amongst men. Some people tease their friends
as adha-mora, which
nearest meaning would be an unholy moron. Such words can be heard,
when the society feels that a man is living under the whims of his
wife. Such prejudice, in most cases, later came out to be a gender
neutral family. Among men, outside their family, they will make
mockery of females as fools, hang out to nearby pan-dukan and
woo woman shopkeepers surreptitiously. The shopkeepers, in order to
sell a cigarette extra, would somehow accept the gestures. Aware of
these facts and to avoid unwanted situations, usually her husband or
mother-in-law accompanies her from a distance. They also try to
introduce themselves impressively, real or fact, to her. They seldom
accept returned changes/coins when the cigarette bill is paid to a
beautiful shopkeeper. The mentioned situation is much uglier in
traditional wine vendors, mostly in tribal community, when these
people go there to booze.
I'm not a total reformist nor do I claimed that our history has been
full of taboo. Rather, I would like to cause to take up a difficult
task of segregating the good tradition and preserving it and at the
same time reform certain taboos and outdated customs, modernizing
them, so that the rich culture is preserved at its best as 'social
dynamics' rolls by. Every meitei men and women will be happier of
their culture.
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